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Making of DON @ The Comedy Show

Google attracting employees!

~ Ankit

Here is Newton’s contribution to Software Industry:

Law 1. Every Software Engineer continues his state of chatting or forwarding mails unless he is assigned work by external unbalanced manager.

Law 2. The rate of change in the software is directly proportional to the payment received from client and takes place at the quick rate as when deadline force is applied.

Law 3. For every Use Case Manifestation there is an equal but opposite Software Implementation.

Bonus Law 4 . Bugs can neither be created nor be removed from software by a developer. It can only be converted from one form to another. The total number of bugs in the software always remains constant.

~ being a software engineer i agree with all four laws.

Here are steps for manual migration form windows to linux
http://fun.drno.de/flash/howto_turn_windows_into_linux.swf

The following is an excellet example of mathematics/dynamics
Source

Flash Quake Game
Click here

Solve following :

4 criminals are caught and are to be punished. The Judge allows them to be freed if they can solve a puzzle. If they do not, they will be hung. They agreed.

The 4 criminals are lined up on some steps (shown in picture). They are all facing in the same direction. A wall seperates the fourth man from the other three.

So to summarise :-
Man 1 can see men 2 and 3.
Man 2 can see man 3.
Man 3 can see none of the others.
Man 4 can see none of the others.

The criminals are wearing hats. They are told that there are two white hats and two black hats. The men initally don’t know what colour hat they are wearing. They are told to shout out the colour of the hat that they are wearing as soon as they know for certain what colour it is.

They are not allowed to turn round or move.
They are not allowed to talk to each other.
They are not allowed to take their hats off.

Who is the first person to shout out and why?

 It should not take more than 5 minutes to solve.

~ Ankit  

The computing field is always in need of new cliches. - Alan Perlis

Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don’t need to be done. - Andy Rooney (1919 - )

The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn’t get bigger or heavier. - Bill Gates (1955 - ), Business @ The Speed of Thought
If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee — that will do them in. - Bradley’s Bromide

Why is it drug addicts and computer afficionados are both called users? - Clifford Stoll
Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog. - Doug Larson

Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes. - E. W. Dijkstra

Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers. - Edward Shepherd Mead

To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer. - Farmers’ Almanac, 1978

I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them. - Isaac Asimov (1920 - 1992)

Part of the inhumanity of the computer is that, once it is competently programmed and working smoothly, it is completely honest. - Isaac Asimov (1920 - 1992)

Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don’t add up. - James Magary

Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining. - Jef Raskin, interviewed in Doctor Dobb’s Journal

The most overlooked advantage to owning a computer is that if they foul up there’s no law against wacking them around a little. - Joe Martin, Porterfield

In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear. John C. Dvorak

There is no reason for any individual to have a computer in his home. - Ken Olsen (1926 - ), President, Digital Equipment, 1977

The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That’s where we come in; we’re computer professionals. We cause accidents. - Nathaniel Borenstein (1957 - )

Computers are useless. They can only give you answers. - Pablo Picasso (1881 - 1973)

The computer is a moron. -Peter Drucker

If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow enobled and no-one dares criticize it. - Pierre Gallois

Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning. - Rich Cook

To err is human — and to blame it on a computer is even more so. - Robert Orben

If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside. - Robert X. Cringely, InfoWorld magazine

I think computer viruses should count as life. I think it says something about human nature that the only form of life we have created so far is purely destructive. We’ve created life in our own image. - Stephen Hawking

[ Source : http://www.quotationspage.com/ ]

Question to God:"What surprises you most about mankind?

And God answered:

"That they lose their health to make money and then lose their money to restore their health. That by thinking anxiously about the future, they forget the present, such that they live neither for the present nor the future. That they live as if they will never die, and they die as if they had never lived…"

A Mom comes to visit her son Kumar for dinner…..who lives with a girl roommate Sunita. During the course of the meal, his mother couldn’t help but notice how pretty Kumar’s, roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and this had only made her more curious.
Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Kumar and his roommate than met the eye.

Reading his mom’s thoughts, Kumar volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Sunita and I are just roommates." About a week later, Sunita came to Kumar saying, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I’ve been unable to find the silver plate. You don’t suppose she took it, do you?" Kumar said ,"Well, I doubt it, but I’ll email her, just to be sure."

So he sat down and wrote :

Dear Mother:

I’m not saying that you ‘did’ take the silver plate from my house, I’m not saying that you ‘did not’ take the silver plate.. But the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.

Love, Kumar

Several days later, Kumar received an email from his Mother which read

Dear Son:

I’m not saying that you ‘do’ sleep with Sunita, and I’m not saying that you do not’ sleep with Sunita. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found the silver plate by now under the pillow…

Love,

Mom.

Lesson of the day: Don’t Lie to Your Mother………..especially if she is Indian !

Sweet poem for a Friend 

1+1=2 my 2 eyes looking at U,

3+2=5sense missing U,

4+3=7days thinking of U,

5+7=12months dreaming abt U

but 99+1=100years i need a sweet friend like U………………..

No word is as beautiful as friend,and no friend is as wonderful as U,

a friend is sweet when its new,its sweeter when its true,its sweetest when it is U.

 Source : Ankit < Maryann < Brihadish < Ravi (USA) < ….

 Ankit Jain

Watch this flash . It shows how smoking leads to War.

Source :  fun.drno.de